Rock
Scissors
Fuck
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
