I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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