girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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