Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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