He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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