Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
