you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.