Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body

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  (818): i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body http://tfl.nu/r8xl
  Replies (4) Good night (1049) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  well..are you winning?

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  (732): i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head. (215): well..are you winning? http://tfl.nu/bl8w
  Replies (24) Good night (1503) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?

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  (616): Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma? http://tfl.nu/rtd3
  Replies (4) Good night (527) Bad night (2493)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.

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  (860): I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus. http://tfl.nu/nv5c
  Replies (17) Good night (4250) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.

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  (925): anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend. http://tfl.nu/wrr6
  Replies (21) Good night (5300) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.

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  (419): All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex. http://tfl.nu/ooyw
  Replies (5) Good night (818) Bad night (4494)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.

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  (+61): We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well. http://tfl.nu/yavz
  Replies (21) Good night (1909) Bad night (2616)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics

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  (562): Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics http://tfl.nu/ne8m
  Replies (16) Good night (4281) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.

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  (610): we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again. http://tfl.nu/goom
  Replies (6) Good night (3225) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."

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  (850): she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.." http://tfl.nu/uij4
  Replies (2) Good night (3784) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.

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  (708): My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase. http://tfl.nu/2212
  Replies (4) Good night (1327) Bad night (3286)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.

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  (512): I feel like someone had their period in my eyes. (512): I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night. http://tfl.nu/gefs
  Replies (8) Good night (620) Bad night (2044)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  We don't watch enough power rangers

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  (305): We don't watch enough power rangers http://tfl.nu/xqyy
  Replies (7) Good night (729) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.

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  (702): Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself. http://tfl.nu/5shw
  Replies (3) Good night (762) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  80% sure the drag queens carried her home

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  (212): 80% sure the drag queens carried her home http://tfl.nu/gmg4
  Replies (0) Good night (616) Bad night (259)

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