is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
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At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
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Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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