yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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