walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
