when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
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For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
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Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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