I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
