now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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