We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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