Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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