I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
