I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
