We won't sleep together?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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