Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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