clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
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