is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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