Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
