Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
that may or may not have been my penis.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
