This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
