I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
