is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
