my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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