I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
