You smell like stripper and shame
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
