I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
