I've blown a few things in my day
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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