We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
