We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had