Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
I think I sprained my soul last night
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.