Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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