Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  your thong is hanging out like whoa

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  (917): your thong is hanging out like whoa http://tfl.nu/zppd
  Replies (2) Good night (2695) Bad night (1300)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury

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  (850): paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury http://tfl.nu/f86j
  Replies (13) Good night (986) Bad night (735)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs

  (314): View more from Missouri

  you don't even go to loyola anymore

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  (504): loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs (314): you don't even go to loyola anymore http://tfl.nu/fisu
  Replies (45) Good night (7965) Bad night (922)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.

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  (513): She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment. http://tfl.nu/tn42
  Replies (25) Good night (1098) Bad night (4571)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.

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  (940): I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner. http://tfl.nu/au8r
  Replies (41) Good night (4308) Bad night (1713)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.

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  (636): I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph. http://tfl.nu/fo7j
  Replies (7) Good night (2243) Bad night (686)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!

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  (402): 1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow! http://tfl.nu/fjak
  Replies (9) Good night (2809) Bad night (1308)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.

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  (910): I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him. (910): Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer. http://tfl.nu/vb0s
  Replies (4) Good night (2201) Bad night (660)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.

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  (647): I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French. http://tfl.nu/aztk
  Replies (6) Good night (1329) Bad night (527)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...

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  (828): nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote... http://tfl.nu/xy7a
  Replies (2) Good night (1324) Bad night (520)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate

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  (302): Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate http://tfl.nu/9c8c
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.

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  (330): Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants. http://tfl.nu/3hnq
  Replies (6) Good night (475) Bad night (1191)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.

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  (561): Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her. http://tfl.nu/tvor
  Replies (1) Good night (362) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.

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  (513): It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is. http://tfl.nu/opxa
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (280)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list

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  (952): I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list http://tfl.nu/awd8
  Replies (4) Good night (379) Bad night (173)

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