Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.

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  (843): THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in (843): Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine. http://tfl.nu/rmt2
  Replies (5) Good night (618) Bad night (2448)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.

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  (571): non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do. http://tfl.nu/8y8e
  Replies (75) Good night (14187) Bad night (1875)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.

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  (636): just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am. http://tfl.nu/ubv2
  Replies (38) Good night (4666) Bad night (589)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?

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  (617): What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you? http://tfl.nu/svb6
  Replies (31) Good night (4665) Bad night (1031)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now

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  (314): like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now http://tfl.nu/ltgd
  Replies (32) Good night (1245) Bad night (4143)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.

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  (703): we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints. http://tfl.nu/3trl
  Replies (37) Good night (19623) Bad night (901)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS

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  (419): All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS http://tfl.nu/2lvs
  Replies (17) Good night (4035) Bad night (2010)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer

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  (708): youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer http://tfl.nu/xxdd
  Replies (31) Good night (11124) Bad night (1340)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup

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  (416): he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup http://tfl.nu/u0xy
  Replies (20) Good night (1499) Bad night (5290)
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  (516): View more from New York

  drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me

  (516): View more from New York

  he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york

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  (516): drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me (516): he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york http://tfl.nu/5sdf
  Replies (3) Good night (2218) Bad night (762)
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  (619): View more from California

  Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.

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  (619): Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me. http://tfl.nu/2xwv
  Replies (5) Good night (459) Bad night (1945)
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  (559): View more from California

  she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.

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  (559): she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer. http://tfl.nu/y0m8
  Replies (8) Good night (867) Bad night (1964)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually

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  (931): i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually http://tfl.nu/wdhn
  Replies (3) Good night (1015) Bad night (544)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning

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  (434): Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning http://tfl.nu/g13p
  Replies (4) Good night (1015) Bad night (312)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.

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  (734): In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups. http://tfl.nu/3nhq
  Replies (7) Good night (1282) Bad night (344)

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