Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number

Fav 20 829 7064
share tweet
(727): View more from Florida

In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.

Fav 22 1276 4697
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(702): View more from Nevada

sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.

Fav 14 1221 4760
share tweet
(925): View more from California

She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.

Fav 12 1522 5065
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.

Fav 8 1476 2321
share tweet
(949): View more from California

You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"

Fav 6 1553 2193
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?

Fav 9 1945 817
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.

Fav 1 510 395
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf

Fav 0 56 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT