haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
