Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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