After last night, I could never be a politician.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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