Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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