I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need to calm my uterus...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize