I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
