She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize