If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
