? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
