So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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