So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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