i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
