So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
