Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize