i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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