its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
