Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
