My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
