how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
