I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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