A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This is the high leading the old right now
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
