he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
