Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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