we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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