How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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