I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
