I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
