I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
