then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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