I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
