New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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